Men: What’s your best defense from yet another catty #MeToo meow? “She hit me first!”

The “Fighting Words” legal doctrine says that, when you persistently taunt a man into punching you, you’re the bad guy. I don’t know that judges will want to talk about tortious fornicative displays, but that’s what’s going on when a slutty dresser comes to work.

Illustration by: Surian Soosay

I think every working stiff in America should file a sexual-assault grievance every time some floozie shows up to work dressed to incite working stiffies. She’s hitting you first. Fight back.

If a skirt shows leg above the knee, standing or sitting, report it.

If arms are visible above the elbow, write it up.

Shoulders? Back? If you’d look hard to see it from behind your sunglasses on the beach – it’s an act of sexual aggression.

Snazzy shoes? They’re meant to make you look at her legs. High heels? Her calves and butt. If you see something, say something.

Is she wearing a long necklace or a broach? She’s flaunting her tits, so she can flail you with them later. Tell HR.

All jewelry on a woman is sex-parts advertising: She’s drawing your eyes to what she thinks is most ogle-worthy. Don’t take the bait, but do report the baiting.

Red outfit or accessory? Eye magnet. Form-fitting clothing? Grope magnet. Perfume? Rape magnet. She’s violating your nature as a man. Speak up.

And don’t forget to remember: Past offenses count, but only your memory of them counts, and the injury was to your feelings, not to anything that can be measured from the outside.

Got three specific grievances? That’s a hostile work environment: You are being asked to labor against a company-endorsed tide of deliberate sexual temptation.

The “Fighting Words” legal doctrine says that, when you persistently taunt a man into punching you, you’re the the bad guy. I don’t know that judges will want to talk about tortious fornicative displays, but that’s what’s going on when a slutty dresser comes to work.

Report the bitch. She’s not just disrupting the workplace, she’s a walking land mine self-programmed to destroy careers, marriages and families. Be a hero and rid the job site of toxic femininity.

Most women who work outside the home do it because they have to, not because they want to. They’d much rather be at home taking care of their husbands and nurturing their kids. Since feminism has all but cured men of any interest in marriage – they’re stuck. But if you want to talk about women being hassled at work, these babes see more of it and handle it much better than any sorority of the-sisterhood-of-the-traveling-having-it-all.

There are three types of females who want to be at work: Attention whores, spouse-hunters and grown-up women who just want to get a job done. Take away the rewards for sexual aggression and the first two will vanish in short order, off in search of better prey. Everyone else will be there to work, and, accordingly, there won’t be any more of this idiocy.

This would be how men work, by the way: Identify the true problem – not foolish responses to sexual agression, but the initiation of that aggression – then reengineer the system in such a way that the issue self-corrects. Easy peasy – you know, like a woman taking care of a baby.

Want to eliminate sexual agression from the workplace? Eliminate the aggressors. It’s that simple.

This entry was posted in Splendor!. Bookmark the permalink.