To whomever is shopping me on conservative art: Here’s a shopping list.

I’ve been trying for a year now to engage a debate on ‘conservative’ art – where to me ‘conservative’ means pro-egoistic and therefore anti-authoritarian. One of the troubles with having this conversation is that the word ‘conservative’ means almost anything and, hence, almost nothing. By framing the matter in my terms, we can approach the topic as a matter of attainable objectives.

What would be the polemical objective of a pro-egoistic/anti-authoritarian art? Greater individual autonomy and less governmental compulsion, yes?

This would be achieved how? By people voting differently – and making different choices in every part of their lives.

Why would they do this?

That’s important. The Bellow/Bernstein/LibertyIslandMag.com ‘conservative’ esthetic consists of preaching to the choir with more of the same – blood, guts ’n’ magic in space – a strategy that may someday make them money but which will convert no one to a pro-egoistic/anti-authoritarian point of view.

What art will change minds and lives and votes?

Comedy. Not farce, not satire, but the story arc in which the hero fixes a problem in his life by learning, mastering and consistently applying better ideas.

Expressed that way, it sounds too simple to be effective. And yet if you reflect upon this idea, you’ll find that the stories that matter most to you – in establishing your most fundamental identity, how you behave, not your expressed tastes – are just this sort of comedy.

That’s true for everyone, for all of human history: To the extent that people keep striving, they do it because of a story each one of us tells himself, and that story is comedy. Whatever perils we face in Act I, whatever turmoil we must endure in Act II, we believe – as demonstrated by the evidence of our ongoing striving – that everything will work out happily by the end of Act III.

If you want for more people to think that way – if you want more people to strive harder – if you want more people to believe in the long-run efficacy of hard work, especially the hard work of acquiring new and better intellectual capital – if you want more people to live as diligent and civil members of the middle class – if you want for the victims of the welfare state to acknowledge and throw off their gold-plated chains – if you want for natural-born egoists and rebels to embrace your pro-egoistic/anti-authoritarian political philosophy…

If you want any of that, the art you want is comedy. The only art you want is comedy. If you want to sell the same old crap to the same old people, change nothing: Mediocrity is always perfect in the eyes of the seller. But if you want different results, you need to (ahem!) learn, master and deploy better ideas.

I’m being shopped on this idea today, which is surprising not because it’s a year late but because it is happening at all: The ‘conservative’ echo chamber would much rather be wrong in chorale than right by concession of error. Whatever. I’ve written a lot on this notion. Dig in:

• Conservatives: If you want for the good guys to win in the end, the art you’re looking for is comedy.
• Why comedy matters: Understanding the art that will redeem human civilization.
• Let’s have a real writing contest: Take a sad song and make it better.
• @LibertyIsleMag made #conservative #art into just another Dairy Queen disappointment for me.
• What’s “good” #conservative #art? Ars gratia libertatis – art for #freedom’s sake.
• A conservative counter-culture? How about an egoistic counter-revolution instead?

If you want to change the world, the art you want is comedy.

The only art that will do what you say you want done is comedy.

And therefore, the only art conservative investors should underwrite is comedy.