SelfAdoration.com

How do you know for sure that Allah is impotent?

Why can’t he ‘avenge’ himself?

If they can’t take a joke, fuck ’em.

I should be grieving because you’re nose is out of joint? You should be torqued because someone else has a peeve? Here’s some perfect news for the New Year, the fourth rule of The Church of Splendor:

Butthurt is not contagious.

That homily is 2014’s last, so it seems worthwhile to me to revisit the very first episode of The Church of Splendor, from January 2, 2014:

We’re talking about end-of-the-year reflections and beginning-of-the-year anticipations, but everything I say concerns human sovereignty – exclusive self-control.

Accordingly, taking account that butthurt is not contagious, if you want to be free – what’s stopping you?

Show me a high school senior who is an Eagle Scout or a member of the National Honor Society and I’ll lay odds that kid comes from a strongly religious family. Not a necessary consequence, but a very strong correlation.

The cause is not the religion but the kind of father-led family I uphold. Whatever their faults, enduring religions help people to practice my kind of self-adoration de facto, regardless of what the official doctrine claims.

What do I like least about my fellow atheists? The pots-’n’-kettles identity politics that leads them to denounce some of the best exponents of fully-human moral values – religious people. If you’re doing the right things and raising great kids, I like you regardless of how you got there.

This is me from yesterday’s Church of Splendor Christmas Extravaganza:

You don’t need religion to raise happy, productive, self-responsible children, but you do need a firm and fixed moral philosophy – championed by a happy, productive, self-responsible father. My book Father’s Day will show you how to get the best of everything for your family.

If you know a dad who could stand to catch a clue, this book could be a great gift for him, for his wife – and especially for his children.

The headline is not enough of a tease? See me on The Joy of Chastity for an appetizer.

Meanwhile, here is yesterday’s homily from The Church of Splendor:

Why does all-the-way-married love-making make all the difference? My full answer is in Loving Cathleen – on sale until the end of the year for 99¢.

She could bump into you at any time. Will it be you she is looking for when that happens?vasilennka / Foter / CC BY

I get mail. Not very much, but I get good mail. This is a young man who entrusted his mind to my advice. I hope he doesn’t feel let down by it:

How can a young person find better love, enduring love, a lifelong love? Stop shopping for anything else and increase your own market value until you and your perfect love find each other.

If this video elicited a response from you, spread it around. Watch it again with your friends – or with your kids or with your kid brother or sister.

A thought for thoughtful men: What if girls decided to make a fashion of chastity? Good on ya for building your value proposition ahead of time.

Ladies, here’s a link to the Hitachi Magic Wand discussed in the video and here’s a way to make it more fulfilling, so to speak.

Moms and Dads, the gift note can read like this:

My Dearest Darling Daughter,

We don’t ever have to talk about this if you don’t want to, but watch this video and we won’t have to:

bit.ly/TheJoyOfChastity

Love, You Know Who

Meanwhile, to everyone: We’re talking about a brand new approach to morality. If it makes sense to you, make sense of it.

Once upon a time there were three little pigs, and, although they were brothers and looked a lot a like, they could not have been more different.

The first little pig was hard-working and thrifty. He spent very little of his income, saving and investing as much money as he could. He lived with his mother well into adulthood, helping her with her expenses. He finally bought a home of his own when he could afford to pay for it all in cash. As you might expect, the thrifty little pig’s home wasn’t flashy, but it was all his, free and clear.

The second little pig didn’t save very much of his income, but he earned a lot of money as a rising executive, and he had an uncanny luck in the housing market. He bought a condominium on his 18th birthday, then traded up to his first single-family home before he was 21. By the time he was 30, the lucky little pig owned a very stately executive home – and he had been able to make a whopping 50% down-payment.

The third little pig wasn’t very good at working hard, and he had never kept a job long enough to get a raise. He wasn’t at all good at saving money, but he could borrow and spend it better than any little pig anywhere. Like the lucky little pig, he moved away from home early, but he just kept moving – from apartments to friends’ couches to rental homes and then to one girlfriend’s house after another.

If you are a liberal, you may be thinking of the third brother as the unfortunate little pig. If you are a conservative, you will want to call him the lazy little pig – or worse. To keep the peace, let’s just call him the puerile little pig – the little brother who never (more…)

“What about Jackie?” From yesterday’s Church of Splendor homily, the rape of Jackie, Rolling Stone magazine #rapeculture poster girl, has but just begun.

From The Church of Splendor yestermorning, Rejuvenating Youngtown: Deploying the Ferguson riots to defend fatherhood, all as a way of revivifying the middle class.

Pulling this forward to amend it with this video, a clip from a Church of Splendor service imagining a Sunday brunch with Ayn Rand that she might not storm out of: Praising the empathy of her fiction while taking her to account for failing to have appropriate empathy for her followers.

This is more about Nine empathies, of course, a deep empathy for Rand herself and for her followers:

This is a short colloquy with a reader. I love these kinds of questions, and I would love to hear more of them.

> I read Man Alive a number of months ago, and I liked it. Particularly the simple strategy you give for living a better life by thinking of yourself as on a number line and always making your decisions toward the positive end of self-adoration.

It’s funny, but that’s been a huge win for me, too. I’ve stopped writing satire because of it, and I realized today that there is a style of joke that is as self-destructive as satire, so that goes, too.

> I also got a lot out of your 21 Convention speech, such that it has put you on a kind of pedestal in my head as somebody who is definitely a lot smarter than me, and so I should be careful not to sound too stupid. I’ll try.

My belief is that we are all essentially equal. A body-builder looks very strong, compared to me, until we compare the two of us to an elephant. If I did the hard work he does, we’d be even more alike. I look smart to you because I’ve spent my time on these issues, while you and other people were concentrating on other things. Specialization makes all of us smarter, and the only way I could actually flummox you is by concealing what I’ve learned. If I share what I know, not only can anyone else learn it, in due course I will be eclipsed entirely. I think that’s wonderful.

> I’m also a huge fan of Ayn Rand, and I owe more of who I am today to her writings than to (more…)

What could be more becoming from a four-year-old girlchild than these words: “Do you worst. I will not kneel.” Sunday’s homily from The Church of Splendor.

Affection from The Church of Splendor: The nicest possible answers to life’s most brutal questions.

The homily from the Church of Splendor yestermorn, “The Dutch Uncle Game (or: Tits or Get Out).” It’s a long walk on a brisk fall Sunday with a business proposition at the end.

Salute and you could change the world.