A Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Willie story
October 13, 1986, Greenwich Village, NY
“I coulda been the biggest star of all!”
The swarthy man with the approximated beard was half in his cups. Or is the glass half full? Maybe he was half out of his cups… Anyway, it’s safe to say he’d reached the midpoint in his journey under the table.
“I coulda been Bigger Than Elvis!” He downed half his drink in one slurp. “Yeah… Bigger Than Elvis, man… Are you gettin’ this down?”
All I’d written down was his name. I’d tell it to you, but I’ve mislaid it. I’m not sure if it was on the back of the business card that I accidently dropped onto the subway tracks or on the cocktail napkin that I inadvertently laundered. I am certain that I neither have it nor remember it. No matter; there are three sots like Bigger Than Elvis in every watering-hole in Manhattan.
I met him in one of those exposed-brick fern-bars on Macdougal Street. He was cadging drinks by pounding away on a beat-up Martin guitar, wailing off-key through his nose about a ‘Tambourine Man’. He serenaded me for an extra-special long time; dancing beneath diamond skies waving his hand, or something like that. I figured if I bought him a drink he’d go away. I was wrong.
Instead, he sat down, moaning through his nose about the injustice of booking agents and record buyers. I won’t try to reproduce his speech, which was very oddly inflected; almost as unintelligible as his singing, though not quite as loud. His spiel was Sob Story #37, with variations: nobody likes me, everybody hates me, guess I’ll eat some wheat germ.
“Bigger Than Elvis, man… A livin’ legend.” He sighed. “And, like, it’s just not fair!” He punctuated himself with a dissonant chord.
“Isn’t it…?” I admit it: I ask for these things.
“No, man. Hell no!” He pulled at one of the black ringlets of his receding hairline. “Like, one minute you’re bein’ chased by reporters from Frisco to University Place… You’re on the cover of Time… (more…)