Do you want her to be the woman you married? Start by being the man she fell for in the first place.

One of the points I hit repeatedly in 2015, in public and in private, is the idea of masculine frame: Holding onto your identity as the emotional anchor in your marriage amidst the tempests of feminine crazy.

It is easy to decry the emotional distance and waning commitment men exhibit in that circumstance, but she is at fault, too: He is cheating her of the rock-steadiness he promised her, but she is in all likelihood cheating him of the lifelong boner-bait she promised him.

The bad news? That’s his problem, too.

It’s his marriage. It was his relationship since it began. When she attacks his frame, she is trying to take over a job he cannot abdicate. When he yields that frame, she panics, trying even harder to take over. Rinse and repeat, and the marriage is doomed – until he takes back the masculine frame that drew her to him in the first place.

The video embedded below was an eye-opener for a lot of people. If you give me twenty minutes, I’ll give you back your marriage.