Steal this headline: “Someone finally tells the truth about men and pornography!”

Truth (La Vérité), 1870, by Jules Lefebvre
“He loves you best with his eyes wide open. You love him best with your eyes clenched tight.”Ron Rothbart / Foter / Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic (CC BY 2.0)

Here’s my thinking: The children of the world need happy parents, and this video could make a difference in a lot of marriages.

So: We need a big, blaring headline like this somewhere: “At last the naked truth about men and their porn.”

There’s room in this argument for every enemy of human thriving to have something to shriek about, but there is room, too, for the true friends of men and of sexuality-writ-large to jump in, thus to get this out to all the married men who are glumly trudging toward a seemingly inevitable divorce right now.

You know one of those guys – or a lot of them. If any one of them can get the missus back on board to making love his way – the way they always made love back when their romance was still really good – you could be instrumental in saving that marriage.

That’s a mitzvah, but it may not really hit home until their kids graduate or get married or bring home grandkids. Your goodness helped him? Continue reading

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What’s the best tactic in the Ruling Class-led war on humanity? Convincing you not to have a family.

To the extent that a woman is doing with her life what any man can do, then, by all means, all hail the winsome Miss Spinster. But to the extent that she is not doing what only she as a woman can do – birthing and nurturing her own offspring – she is robbing herself of what she wants most from her life in order to live up to the feminist fantasy of the woman who has it all. All, that is, except a husband, a family, a home, grandchildren – and memories she can smile at instead of always having to wince, shudder and then turn away from her own past choices.Photo by: sabianmaggy

Anti-family ‘news’ is everywhere, and I choose to ignore it, most of the time. When an idea is sold by a continuous drum-beat, you can bet it’s a lie, since the truth doesn’t require incessant repetition. It’s cognitive dissonance – attempting to uphold mutually-contradictory premises – that needs constant reassurance.

The Ruling Class – the academic/scientific/governmental monopoly on ‘debate’ dominated by Cautious apple-polishers effecting the real-life Revenge of the Nerds right under your nose – is at war with the ideas and conditions that Continue reading

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If we are wise, and if we are lucky, we won’t “meet the new boss” because there won’t be any bosses.

Watch this:

Yes, everyone knows Saturday Night Live is not funny, but that sketch is interesting, even so.

Why? What is that bit actually saying?

Actors are puppets for writers, never forget that. What are the writers of that unfunny little skit trying to say?

Imagine this: Your parents spent a ton of money to send you to Brown or Yale or Dartmouth, and now you have the thoroughly unsexy job of writing unfunny comedy bits for an unwatched variety show that can’t even sell its own advertising time.

Do you want to believe that some mouth-breather in Dubuque can get an education just as useless as yours at, say, one percent of the cost your parents paid out?

Worse, what if that guy’s education is better than yours? What if he can get a job that amounts to something, in an industry that is growing, not dying? What if people make or lose money — or even live or die — based on his academic performance?

He doesn’t have your class ring, and he doesn’t belong to your network of drunken dissipates — each one of whom is stuck in a going-nowhere job just like yours. But, but, but: He doesn’t feel himself endowed with the centuries Continue reading

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A rallying cry for the Tea Party rebellion: “You’re not the boss of me!”

I love that phrase — “You’re not the boss of me!” — those words, that order, that emphasis. Children say it when they’re put upon, and I love it so much I write it into their mouths in fiction, too.

The sentence has that structure because the child has self-abstracted the genitive idea, the idea of “of-ness” — the relationship of dominance defined by every form of possession. “You’re not my boss!” is a learned shortening of the same idea, but “You’re not the boss of me!” is a completely self-abstracted, self-constructed sentence, which in turn expresses in the most succinct possible form a completely self-abstracted philosophy.

We spend a lot of time laughing at how silly children’s ideas are, but we never stop to marvel at everything they had to work out in order to have ideas of their own. To say that one simple sentence — “You’re not the boss of me!” — the child had to work out the idea of his own undeniable, inescapable ontological autonomy.

I could spend a month defending the idea of an “undeniable, inescapable ontological autonomy,” but I had to understand the raw essence of that idea as a four-year-old — and so did you!

We were Continue reading

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A better marriage? A better family life? It begins with the empathy for the opposite.

When you praise your kids’ virtues the way you do your dog’s, you’ll love your whole family better.Photo by: wsilver

In Nine empathies, I raise the idea of the empathy for the opposite, trying to make conjectures about another person’s mental states in those circumstances where you are least well-equipped to understand them.

When you invoke an empathy for the opposite, you are explicitly attempting to empathize with another person in precisely the context where you are least competent to get the job done right. That much is a useful reminder that empathy is all conjecture, based entirely in the false claim that you can “know” something by a means by which valid knowledge cannot be acquired. You can’t read minds, even if it sometimes feels as though you have.

That particular chapter of the book demonstrates why the idea of storgic love – the enduring love of families – is so important for understanding mutually-rewarding expressions of empathy, which are typically the only kind we think about.

This extended extract illuminates how that love is expressed, and how it quickens over time:

I’ll give you an example of the empathy for the opposite that you may not have thought much about, Continue reading

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Free the Earth 7 billion! Ideas scale, so you have the means to free all of humanity at your fingertips.

If I teach other people how to see the world my way, each one of them will be rich enough in human values to mutually-enrich all the others.Photo by: Ramunas Geciauskas

The idea that ideas scale is addressed in the last chapter of Nine empathies.

If I am a lizard and a fly lands on my extended tongue – a common reptilian “hunting” strategy – I got me some lunch. One munch, no share for you even if I was the sharing kind.

If I’m a predatory mammal, I may bring home the family-sized gazelle, but there is no possible way for me to feed more than a few.

But since ideas scale, if I am a human being, I can learn to feed millions, as many brilliant men have done again and again in human history.

But ideas scale yet again from even that cornucopian abundance: If I teach others what I know, they will feed billions.

And scaling yet again, if I teach other people how to see the world my way, each one of them will be rich enough in human values to mutually-enrich all the others.

I think that’s the most wonderful thing about us, and the fact that we Continue reading

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My life, my choice: My plan to stage a graceful exit from life when the Splendor is gone.

I’ve lived my entire life hewing to my own standards and values, and I do not intend to die any other way.Photo by: Knar Bedian

Under the wide and starry sky,
Dig the grave and let me lie.
Glad did I live and gladly die,
And I laid me down with a will.

This be the verse you grave for me:
‘Here he lies where he longed to be;
Home is the sailor, home from sea,
And the hunter home from the hill.’

      —Robert Louis Stevenson

This is important: Everything that matters in human life is to be found to the right of the zero on the number line. Zero is never greater than one, so concentrating on the zero or on negative values is necessarily anegoic – contrary to the true interests of the ego.

Can it sometimes be needful to attend to negative values? Yes. I speak of eradicating bugs all the time, since this is a useful metaphor for understanding the actual meaning and importance of disvalues. If my food is being devoured by ants, I need to to exterminate them. If there is a scorpion in my home (it happens here), I have to crush it – grind it to a gooey pulp. If Continue reading

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