Q: Who knows you better than you know yourself? A: Everyone who is successfully milking you.

Look around the poker table. Don’t look for the sucker. You wouldn’t be looking if you didn’t already know it’s you. Instead, look for the guy who can’t seem to stop pissing you off. ¡Abre los ojos! YOU are HIS sucker.Photo by: dupo-x-y

I wrote the DISC of PUA this morning:

The skank every idiot is chasing is Is. The demi-skanks those idiots actually have a shot at are Si. A quick tell? Posture.

I hate PUA. I think casual, indiscriminate sex is the express lane to self-destruction. Need proof? Abre los ojos. But I happened to think of it because my friend George Kellas reminded me that in 2014 I presented DISC-my-way to a conference room full of PUA “coaches” and their self-selected victims.

Real-world consequences?

Zero, as far as I can tell.

Mostly they learned nothing. A few, including my young friend, learned the lingo, but so far it’s just been so much Klingon even to them: An arcane notation system useful, mainly, it would seem, for talking to me. 😉

I’m happy for those few, anyway, and they’ll catch up eventually. My failure to make any bigger dent in the universe is sad, but, understanding DISC the way I do, it’s not hard to see why people deeply invested in lifelong habituated errors might not want to make any changes.

Especially, I might add, if one’s income depends on people being weak and stupid – blinded to the people all around them, with each one invisible to all the others.

I wrote this, too, this morning:

Q: Who knows you better than you know yourself?

A: Everyone who is successfully milking you.

I don’t know that there is anyone who understands DISC the way I do. I’m not special, mind you, just early; reality was here all along. But there are many, many people who understand the why of DISC without even suspecting the existence of the what – of 12 easily-discernible categories of habituated errors (where any choice is erroneous if you cannot defend it rationally in terms of your pursuit of continuous lifelong self-adoration) that will tell you, with a high degree of accuracy, how and (more…)

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Like Holden Caulfield – the second time as farce: Turning the mirror on Loco Willie.

Looking for the nursery of lifelong sociopathy?You came to the right place.Photo by: Ben Collins-Sussman

A Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Willie story

You’ve probably never thought of this, but there are regulars at the mall. Lots of them, and lots of different kinds. There are the employees of all the stores, of course, and the employees of the mall itself. But there are daily mall walkers, too, from all walks of life – and at all hours of the day. And there are stranger strangers at the mall, people who don’t see the world the way you do at all.

Nothing menacing, mind you. The Arrowhead Towne Center Mall is private property, which in Glendale, Arizona means, “Don’t make me throw you out you twice.” But the mall is a machine for you, a thing you expect to work at your command, without your having to think about what goes into anything. Nothing wrong with that. That’s how commerce works: It just works. But what makes the mall work is people, and many of those people are very different from you, from me – and from each other.

I think that’s wonderful – actual diversity. But the mall is a pond enfowled by the very oddest of ducks – who almost always go unnoticed by the grand swans gliding by with their bags full of swag.

Again: It’s cool. It’s what you’re paying for.

No one understands that better than me, after driving the choo choo train for months. Your actual belief, as expressed in your actions as you walk around the mall, is that I am paid to heed the laws of physics in your behalf. And you know what? You’re right. That’s precisely correct, even if I might think you are a fool to neglect your own safety – and your marriage, your children and all the rest of you life – as you shuffle along blindly, mesmerized by your smartphone.

Here’s who you have been missing among the adults at the mall, in four very broad categories: Regulars, Grotesques, Specials and Normals.

That’s a taxonomy of unlike types – Regulars are defined by their (more…)

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DISC-my-way MY way: Rushing you to a backwards-and-forwards understanding of human motivation.

Someone said, “If you can’t fit your idea on the back of a business card, you don’t have a clear idea.” I think doing the whole job in verse makes the point even better.

Now there’s doggerel worthy of Kipling. That’s my entire defense of DISC summarized and made both pellucid and mnemonic. I may add a third quatrain in the middle to illuminate whom we are actually admonishing, but the whole argument is there. It took longer to write down than it did to think up, and it’s made of all the stuff I love: Loki jokes and imagic verbs. This is what comes of being in command of the material.

I like it because it’s an easy way to teach basic DISC to anyone, and to remind all of us that we are each one admixtures of self-made sensibility and aboriginal animal craziness, all cultivated by the semi-sensible persistently-crazy people around us. When you learn to see DISC in other people, you’ll learn to see it in yourself – and that’s when the real benefits kick in.

Why? Because the problem is only the other guy if the other guy is truly crazy. The other 98% of the time, the problem is you – refusing to accept, adapt to and amend the existentially-real while you hold out for what your DISC predispositions insist is the ideal.

An example: Last week I caught myself rushing two deadlines, then getting annoyed with the vendors that they hadn’t yet done what they hadn’t promised to do yet. I caught myself in time both times, but if you want to know how Driven people create unnecessary, counter-productive conflicts, that’s how it’s done: Steaming about time like a fat gangster furious that a debt he has just conjured up out of thin air is still unpaid.

Last week I also put up a little homework assignment on Facebook, and I think I rushed that, too. This is the chart I used:

For me, that’s easy. The reptilian response will be immediate, where more mammal-like folks would have to shift gears from affection to aggression, and people (more…)

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Hubris For One: Because self-mockery is a task that should not be delegated.

I ate Karl Marx. Turned out to be a cupcake-sized task, so I mopped up Mohammed for the frosting. I’ve figured out how to kill Yelp and every Yelp-like cyst on the internet. And, also, I know how to disintermediate Disney.

What have you been up to lately?

I’ve got a fever. Can you tell? I’ve been filling this cistern for three years, and it’s about to overflow. I’ve got a little bit of big stuff and a lot of little stuff left to cover, but in two weeks and three days I’ve outlined the map back to a truly civil society.

There’s more, lots more, but that’s the headline:

Western Civ redeemed, details to follow.

My take: You’re not paying me enough. Get your friends to help, too. The whole world will be talking about this eventually, but I’m eager to hurry things along. Aren’t you?

Church, today:

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Love and reliability: Marriage takes to the sky.

The Unfallen, a novel of love and indomitability, available at Amazon.com.

I may make church later this morning, just so I can laugh at myself. I’m getting ready to deal with the idea of reliability – which is what Driven/Sociable civilization both pursues and produces – but I felt like playing a little more playfully for now. So I happened to think of this extract from ‘The Unfallen’ about – ahem – reliability in marriage.

That’s what the whole book is about. The plot is girl-meets-boy. I didn’t know DISC when I wrote it, but DISC will out, anyway. The DISC summation is just this simple: Dc he and Di she find enduring happiness as Ds/Sd.

There’s an argument about art in here – a believable character ‘rings true’ to his DISC profile, an implausible one violates it – but there are all kinds of ThriversEd arguments here, including the fungibility of leadership.

 

From ‘The Unfallen’

Devin stood with Spencer as the car pulled away. He said, “Are you cold? Can you stand to walk?”

“I’m all right.”

“Let’s just walk, then. I learned how to think on the streets of Boston and Cambridge. I don’t always find the answer I’m looking for, but I can always walk my way to peace, to serenity.” They walked their way to the Harvard Bridge across the Charles – named the Harvard Bridge because the students of M.I.T. thought it was too badly designed to be called the M.I.T. Bridge. Elements of the more-or-less perpetual repair crew were out in their orange vests and traffic was backed up in both directions. The walkways were free, though, and they walked, one foot in front of the other, without speaking.

Finally Devin said, “Are you a boy or a man, Spencer?”

“I’m not sure I get that…”

“It’s yours to say. People will treat you like a boy for the most part, I guess. But if you decide you’re a man, and if you decide to behave like a man, who can stop you?”

Spencer grinned, his smile as bright as the sun. “There’s that, isn’t there?”

“I ask because I think it’s a (more…)

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Wanna see #ThriversEd in action, now, today, wherever you are?

What will you find at the skatepark?
All the motivation absent from school.

Photo by: Noah_Diamond

Go to the skatepark.

You’ll see a thriving Institute of Persistent Excellence composed entirely of peaceful, purposeful, playful volunteers.

Dutch Uncles and their adhocracies? Simultaneously abundant and evanescent.

Performances? Duh.

Accountability? Not just right here, right now, but enduringly: The skatepark ethos is reputation-based and hugely honor-bound. Responses to violations are immediate, clear-cut and universally-enforced.

The corollary, perhaps obvious only to me: Zero mutinies.

Most children learn nothing in school, but many of them learn how to live a more-human life at the skatepark.

Oh, but you don’t respect skaters’ values? How very snooty of you. They don’t like you, either.

So go to the skeet range, instead, or to the homebrew rocketeers’ blast-off event. Same culture, different gear.

What we call “hobbies” or “avocations” or “diversions” or “dissipations” are typically anarchies of self-and-mutual-education-without-coercion.

All of those things are ThriversEd. We’re just formalizing play to make it even more productive of human virtues and values.

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Why do children rebel so comprehensively against schooling? Why do rape victims fight back?

If you read my magnum opus yesterday, you know a lot more about ThriversEd than you did before. Here’s something I figured out only later:

Schooling : Education :: Rape : Love-making

The way we’ve done schooling so far – not just lately, but since the introduction of the classroom model of “efficiency” – has been a graduated consensuality in the same way that the rape college women protest is borne of partial-but-not-dispositive consent.

What would work better than coercion in – and to – the classroom? Why might work better than rape in your marriage?

Photo by: JOHNNY LAI

How do we know this is so? Duh. Rebellion.

Rancorous transactions do not recur voluntarily. Schooling is for its every victim every day more rancorous. Why must this be so? Escape is blocked. It’s a Cautious tyranny. You know, like rape. Thirteen years’ worth, at least.

Yes, it’s a purely metaphorical rape – mere coercion, not a visceral scourging. But a violation is a violation, and to to deny your own past violations by classroom bullies – both by the paid professionals their sadly-underfathered freelance enforcers – is to confess either to deceit or delusion.

Why do teachers have such a tough time with their charges? Why do all of them hate school – the kids and the teachers?

It turns out people don’t like to be raped, not even metaphorically and in bulk.

What would work better than coercion in – and to – the classroom?

Why might work better than rape in your marriage?

What could be more obvious, right?

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