Leadership beckons – and it’s looking right at you!

Leadership beckons. You split yourself from the herd and you turn and you beckon and you lead love toward love for love. That’s the only reason to lead, and, accordingly, it’s the only reason anyone ever actually does lead.Photo by: Tim Green

Forgive me for being quiet. I have a lot more to say, but I’ve burned hot for two months and that’s a long time for me to do anything without some variety.

So I’ve been playing with stories, but I don’t so much want to write them as I want to throw them off for other people to write. (If there are any actually-greedy capitalists in Hollywood, I am by now a walking benedy factory: I see my kind of stories everywhere.)

And I’ve been playing DISC games with the news, publicly on Facebook and privately with Cathleen all the time.

But mainly I’ve been trying to figure out leadership.

That’s stupid and easy, of course, but everything I think about is.

I have theory, and it’s interesting to me because it ties so much of my world together: Egoism, mothertongue, storgic love, DISC – how those all work together to make social machines work.

But I have another leadership idea gnawing at me, and I think it’s more important than the underlying theory of it all:

Leadership beckons. You walk away from the group, then turn back to face it. Then you gesture with your hand: “Come. Follow me.”

That’s the whole speech in mothertongue, with any abstract notation being redundant.

Leadership beckons. It doesn’t bellow. It doesn’t shout – or threaten. It doesn’t scold or scorn or scoff. It doesn’t bark. It doesn’t bully. It doesn’t rage.

Leadership beckons. It invites. It promotes and it promises. It welcomes. It enlists but it also enleagues and conspires and confabulates – creating its own family legend by creating its own family.

Leadership beckons. It persuades by being a family: You are not doing this for me, nor I for you, but we for us – because what’s good for us is what’s good for us.

Leadership beckons. To lead is to leave, even if no one follows. But (more…)

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Shyly’s delight: Manifesting the secondary consequences of splendor.

Man Alive elucidates the ontology of human social relationships, but it’s dense, tough sledding. Appended below is a easier-reading summary of some of these ideas. I wrote this as a speech for my Toastmaster’s Club in August of 2001. In the blog.world, I’ll throw out details about our lives, but that’s really just so much plastic fruit, local color. This is the world that I live in, the world I wish everyone lived in… –GSS


Shyly’s delight: Manifesting the secondary consequences of splendor.

Shyly’s joy is clean and whole and pure and perfect. Uncontaminated by memories of past pain. Unfiltered by guilt or shame or doubt or self-loathing. Untainted by envy or anger or malice. Unaffected by affectation. Shyly’s delight is impossible to doubt, and the day she fails to express it will be the day she has scampered off this mortal coil.

Shyly’s joy is clean and whole and pure and perfect. Uncontaminated by memories of past pain. Unfiltered by guilt or shame or doubt or self-loathing. Untainted by envy or anger or malice. Unaffected by affectation. Shyly’s delight is impossible to doubt, and the day she fails to express it will be the day she has scampered off this mortal coil.

I have a Labrador mutt named Shyly. She’s about three years old, but because she’s a Lab, she’ll always be a puppy. Always busy, always involved, always eager to be right in the middle of everything.

Shyly is the world’s greatest master at expressing delight. She has a fairly limited emotional range — sadness, boredom, territoriality and contentment. But at expressing delight, Shyly is unequaled. When I come home, even if I’ve only been away for two minutes, Shyly races back and forth through the house, her every muscle rippling with undiluted delight.

It’s an amazing thing to watch, funny and charming and sweet. Shyly’s joy is clean and whole and pure and perfect. Uncontaminated by memories of past pain. Unfiltered by guilt or shame or doubt or self-loathing. Untainted by envy or anger or malice. Unaffected by affectation. Shyly’s delight is impossible to doubt, and the day she fails to express it will be the day she has scampered off this mortal coil.

“What,” you may ask, “does this have to do with me?”

Here’s what:

Friedrich Nietzsche said, “god is dead.” By this he did not mean that there had once been an omnipotent universe creator but that he had since expired. What he meant was that the manifestations of (more…)

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Want to put the eclipse in the shade? Shine with your own light instead.

And do you know what it means when the white ball rolls in front of the yellow ball? That’s right. Nothing.Photo by: Paulo Guedes

Not to alienate myself – even further – from the rest of humanity, but I think this eclipse mania is absurd.

Crouching down to bespy the transit of billiard balls from eye-level would be an equivalent thrill – but you can talk yourself out of that just by imagining how boring it would be.

I admire physics just as much as the next guy, but the best thing about physics – compared with every other origin story – is that physics is a god who manages to get along without constant palliation.

A decent reason to be aware of the eclipse is that it puts the lie to every other origin story – but so does all the rest of reality. Meanwhile, if you have to tell yourself the same story over and over again – including physics – my guess is you don’t believe it.

Your business. If you are a kid or you have kids, it’s a rare teachable moment, and I totally get that. And I have no doubt that everyone would welcome having something else to talk about right now – especially something that unites us all, even if only as passive spectators. I get that, too.

But if you have made any preparations beyond planning to take a look out the window Monday – we’re going at this being-a-grown-up business differently. And if you have spent money on the eclipse…

Good grief. We traipse through life like mourners except when we’re skipping around like drunks. We eat nothing but gruel – or cotton candy. We are gorged by our own starvation. Fascinated by our incessant, repetitive boredom. Credulously jaded, cynically incorrigible, smug as only the perfectly-ignorant can be smug…

Hey, wait! We are kids!

I knew that, of course. It’s what we’ve been talking about: You became you when you graduated from Toddler to Child, and you haven’t changed much since then. Me, neither: I had zero patience for standing around doing nothing back then, too. So, yes, (more…)

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The way to beat Ci compliance displays is to rob them of their oxygen: Your compliance.

Thanks to Google, now even girls know how to shop for just what they want, ignoring everything else.

I’ve vituperated a lot, lately, about Ci and its inverse, obverse photo-copy Ic. There’s a reason for that:

We live in a Ci culture – and it is collapsing.

We need to supplant Ci with Ds or live with the grave consequences of letting Dc take over instead.

That’s Chess, huh? It’s practically a Marvel Comics plot summary.

And none of this is meant to malign Ci’s or Ic’s as people. The everyday world needs actuaries and undertakers – just not very many.

By making a fetish of Ci displays, we have encysted the world with insistence, but that’s easily dealt with. You do it all the time already.

Do you see? You are met with Ci/Ic displays – with compliance displays – all the time, and you successfully manage to resist those demands almost all the time.

What am I talking about?


Image advertising is all Ic: “He can’t be a man if he doesn’t smoke the same cigarettes as me.” Persuasive marketing is typically FUD – fear, uncertainty and doubt. Every bit of it is devised to induce in you a compliant itch that can only be scratched by compliance – by buying the product being promoted.

Does it work? Hugely well on I’s, less so on S’s, only with DISC-focused value propositions – money or time – on C’s and D’s.

Does it work better, in return on investment, than doing nothing – or doing something else? Asking that question will get you fired up and down Madison Avenue.

Does it work on you? Almost never. How do I know that? Because however many purchases you have made today, you’ve been hit by a thousand times that many marketing messages. More than likely, you responded to none of them, or none more elaborate than mere signage.

Big hero you: You were met with thousands upon thousands of compliance displays and you defied them all with a skilled, studied and well-practiced indifference. Well done!

Your indifference warrants scrutiny, of course. How can we study nothing? Because it’s not nothing, it’s two (more…)

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How do you live happily among people at war with all joy? Cultivate indifference and press on regardless.

If you can learn to think of your ego as something you must always love and honor and revere and burnish until it seems to glow of its own light, you can make yourself immune from other people’s ugly behavior.Photo by: Kevin Dooley

I wrote this in a comment on one of my videos:

Inlookers: If you’ve written something I’ve ignored, with an effort you might-could guess why. If you have a serious issue to raise, raise it. If you want to try to silence me or cow me with your disapproval, stop it. It has zero impact on me, but it soils your own character enduringly.

That’s the precise self-adorationist position on ad hominem attacks and other weaponized fallacies: Cultivate indifference and press on regardless. Other people’s bad behavior only becomes a matter of my morality when I choose to behave badly in response. Your choosing to soil your self dirties mine not at all. I grow by pursuing my values, not by wrestling in the mud with your vices.

It is also the best way I’ve found of implementing the second rule of The Church of Splendor: I am not arguing with you. If all you want to do is pick a fight, pick you nose instead. I am not arguing with you.

But that sort of thing is easy to say, and you may think it’s some sort of posturing on my part. It’s not. I live this as a daily reality, waxing and waning with the distractions of mobbed-up minds, and I’ve lived it for my entire life. This is a question that came to me a few years ago, and it seems worthwhile just now to revisit the topic of cultivating indifference.

I guess my question is simply this… How do you do it? You lay your heart, soul and ideas on the line and so often have them thrown right back in your face. And yet everyday, I wake up and see that you have written again, unscathed and unabashed.

Without intending to be flippant, I don’t notice things like that. In any sort of reaction to anything (more…)

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No Nork nukes yet: Is James “Kill ’em all” Mattis an amiable spy in the house of malice?

Donald Trump is an Id pretending to be a Di. Because he is pretending, he is beyond easy to manipulate, and he insulates himself from that risk by being capricious: You can have Trump’s ear until you either bore or upstage him. Mattis and his Dc generals are perfect fits as courtiers: Walking cornucopias of fearful drama with very little Incandescent need to rob the president of his precious limelight.

James Mattis is Dc, and so are all the generals he has surrounded our Prom King president with. That has scared me since his appointment, since Dc is the most-efficient killer in the DISC deck.

Killing is not what Dc’s should be doing, mind you. Their role in the world of commerce is precise productivity, from back-end accounting to tool-and-die making. But put one in charge of an artillery unit and sparks will fly.

The best generals are Ds, but in a Ds world military leadership is an as-needed job – and Dc’s are master millwrights.

Mattis worried me simply because of the heightened homicidal need that Dc’s bring to the world. We talked about amiability with respect to marriage and other relationships. The opposite of amiability is irascibility: How much does our interaction anger me? How much does our ping-ponging anger make things worse? And how badly do I want to kill you when you block my access to my values?

I don’t know that any but the truly outraged actually wants to kill anyone, but I know we all feel that way when we’re not getting what we want. That’s actually predictable from your full DISC profile – where in a frustration loop the homicidal need will come out. Meanwhile, as you might guess, the more amiable you are, the less irascible:

But, of course, wanting to kill someone is different from getting the job done. Ci yearns to kill almost everyone all the time. That’s what all the simmering rage displays are about, summoning lightning bolts and conjuring up detailed smitations of the wicked. But to do real work, not just abstraction-juggling, you need real D, and, accordingly, the best killers among (more…)

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Do you believe in magic? Love is made from its own shared and mutual propitiation!

Love is shaling.
You don’t get it, you earn it.
You don’t give it, you produce it.
You don’t share it, you make it – but only together.
The product IS the process, so without that, there is nothing.

Photo by: Hamza Butt

What are you missing? Everything.

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