If you’re alone this Christmas or if you’re stuck in an airport or if you just have some time to read – have I got news for you.
This is Willie’s Christmas this year, in the order the stories appeared:
• Dusty: An elegy of hope and love. – How to get the hell out of Hades and rebirth humanity in Phoenix, where it belongs.
• How I got thrown out of Walmart at Christmas for unauthorized salesmanship. – A guide to buying your son some fatherhood for Christmas.
• Fifty Shades of Bubba: Christmas at The Sex Addiction Clinic of Misfit Celebrities. – Six degrees of diabolical, with all the names you know and love.
• Ladybug’s Christmas dismissal: “The best argument against women in the workplace? Women in the workplace.” – “The best lack all conviction, while the worst are full of passionate intensity.” Like that, but with barflies.
• Blow Hard: How The Meshugonoph Grabbed Festivus. – ‘Die Hard’ by way of ‘The Three Little Pigs’ by way of ‘The Grinch.’ There’s a Master’s Degree worth of other literary and cultural references in there, among all the rude jokes. (Here’s a printable PDF rendition.)
• Cultivating oak trees – for Christmas: “Unbroken things can survive unbroken forever.” – A toddler teaches a Brophy Boy how to stay married forever.
I wrote a lot of other stories this year, along with a lot of non-fiction. Besides Dusty, I have two other new books on Amazon:
• Las Vegas Redemption: Pastor Trey Coyle and the reincarnation of Sarno’s Ghost. – A satirical Vegas pastiche with no women, no liquor – and no gambling.
• Traindancing: Bedtime stories for your inner child from The Mall of Misfit Families. – Brother Willie is Loco Willie, too, a loco engineer – a man just crazy enough to think he can change things.
I write what no one else writes. I can tell by my bank balance it’s not for everyone. But if you’re looking for brand new ideas about hope, love, family and redemption – have I got news for you…
PS: One more, because there’s no such thing as too much Willie for Christmas:
• The true story of Christmas? Joseph didn’t dump the baby and ditch Mary. – C’mon… If your blasphemy’s not good enough for Christmas, what good is it?