“‘Sex-positive’ sex should leave you so scarred that you will put up even less resistance to it the next time.”

This is a chapter extracted from Father’s Day, an exploration of promiscuity and chastity in the context of marriage. Of all the people who should be celebrating this book – fathers, mothers, egoists, conservatives – the people who should be singing the loudest hosannahs are the Christians: I’m giving you proofs of chastity and monogamy that your kids can’t dismiss by rejecting your religion.

Chapter 15. The Joy of Love-Making

There is nothing positive about the so-called ‘sex-positive’ argument. Traditional religious ideas about love, sex, marriage and family are often arbitrary and irrational, and they are in any case subject to easy attack by being defended with an over-arching, take-it-all-or-leave-it-all super-natural moral philosophy. The idea of chastity – never having sex with another person unless your are truly making love to each other – is not wrong, but traditional defenses of it are weak, where the more-modern feminist and academic arguments for promiscuity seem very strong – especially to the appetites.

The problem is here: You cannot be both promiscuous and chaste, not at the same time in your life, and so you cannot be both cheap in your own eyes, available to many if not to just any, and simultaneously precious, a thing to be treasured and never shared. No woman will see you this way, and the women who express interest in uncommitted men are either themselves uncommitted or they are running a game, knowingly or not, that will end badly for everyone involved. No one is going to see you as Mister Gonnabe when you have “Freebird” playing with the volume cranked up to eleven.

But there is nothing to be admired in Mister Freebird’s vaunted sexual freedom in any case. Banging skanks does not make you more a man, it makes you every day more a boy, more pathetic than Mister Divorced, even. He at least tried to be Mister Maybe before he was involuntarily sidelined, relegated to the life of the ‘player,’ paying for de facto prostitutes by the cocktail.

But Mister Freebird and Mister Divorced are both even more pathetic than that, because their skank-banging is really mostly a matter of score-keeping – competition with other men. I want to call this behavior – oh, so common – homosexual, but the saddest thing of all is that is no more sexual than skeet-shooting is hunting. Less, even, because skeet-shooting is at least practice for hunting, but skank-banging is not only sex without love, it is sex actively opposed to love: To become romantically involved is to preclude access to the next skank – and hence to lose an opportunity to go one-up on all the other guys.

Feminism is anti-family – anti-woman and anti-man but especially anti-children – and the ‘sex-positive’ argument is anti-love-making. The only sex that is ‘sex-positive’ sex is degrading sex, indiscriminate sex, humiliating sex. The sex that is most ‘sex-positive’ should leave you so scarred that you will put up even less resistance to it the next time, and less and less every time after that. To be ‘sex-positive’ is to receive anything, to accept everything and to judge nothing. To be ‘sex-positive’ is to be nothing but warm, moist meat, sometimes humping, sometimes being humped, but never anything with a mind, a memory and a self-conscious future.

To be ‘sex-positive’ is to have sex only as animals have sex, in an irrational compulsive frenzy, and never to make love as only human beings make love.

And, do please recall, the Marrieds make more love, better love, more fulfilling love, more rapturous love than any other couple discussed in this book. Mister Married paces himself so the two of them can have the best possible time together, when they have time for each other, every second or third day. Missus Married doesn’t need to pace herself, since his natural urgency is so much greater than hers. But his own sexual gratification emerges substantially from hers – he is a god to her, and she is his goddess, and he never tires of making new worlds for her – so she always has the sway of a satisfied woman in her gait.

You’ve been lied to about everything about love, sex, marriage and family, as we can easily see simply by taking note that the best sex you can ever have in your life is sex like the Marrieds have it, the sex that is the recurring seal and sacrament of their commitment to each other, the ravenously-repeated consecration of their love for each other and for the family they have made together. But the lies you’ve been told are even worse than that, because the best reason for the Married’s fully-committed monogamy is not the love they make that way, but the love they keep that way.

Well, do please keep reading…