Search Results for: ramblin gamblin willie father

Ladybug’s Christmas dismissal: “The best argument against women in the workplace? Women in the workplace.”

“Ladybug, ladybug, fly away home. Your ovaries are blazing and your biscuits are burned.”Photo by: Gabriel GonzálezA Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Willie story Tuesday, December 19, 2017 “Classy broad. A real lady.” Ladybug said that, nodding toward the television over the bar. No … Continue reading

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Fifty Shades of Bubba: Christmas at The Sex Addiction Clinic of Misfit Celebrities.

Bill Clinton looked at Garrison Keillor. “What are you doing here, farmboy? The last time you had a dirty thought, you wrote a book about it. Matt Lauer’s trying to get back at the jocks in his high school – … Continue reading

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How I got thrown out of Walmart at Christmas for unauthorized salesmanship.

“My name is Loco Willie and I am loco for frisky dogs, precocious children, classy broads and cheap, red guitars.”A Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Willie story Friday, December 1, 2017 “Don’t you know any other songs?” The kid we’re going to call Stingray … Continue reading

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For Thanksgiving, an elegy of hope: “Loving is a gerundive, Dusty, and her name is Amanda.”

Uncle Willie wrote his very first Thanksgiving story this year, but it’s much too long to be a blog post. Here’s an extract: From Dusty: An elegy of hope and love. “What now?”A Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Willie story Thursday, November 23, … Continue reading

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A match made in the heavens and a love for all the ages: Why Madelyn Nguyen’s always gonna win.

Madelyn Nguyen sat very still for a long time, a finger by her mouth, her eyes aimed nowhere, lost in thought. She said, “It sounds kind of like the neutron stars.” Forty-five months old.A Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Willie story Thursday, October 19, 2017 “Tell … Continue reading

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Driving the conversation: Here’s to better days for The Movie Mogul.

“Here’s to better days! All aboard!”A Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Willie story Saturday, October 14, 2017 “Here’s to better days.” I said that to The Movie Mogul. It seemed like the thing to do. He was shocked, to say the truth. It … Continue reading

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A Las Vegas redemption? See it when TV’s Pastor Trey Coyle takes on Sarno’s Ghost – at Caesars Palace!

“Is there anything else people can do at casinos – besides, you know, winning?”I was working on a farce set in Las Vegas when the town got shot up. It’s a Willie story, a #MyKindOfBenedy called “Las Vegas Redemption: Pastor Trey … Continue reading

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How the Rape of the Sabine Women helped me sue for peace and racial harmony.

“Do you get the point of the story? It’s about exogamy — out-marriage. When a black man marries a white woman, or the other way around, two families that may once have hated each other are now united by their … Continue reading

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How did Reggie and Shake buy their way into adulthood? With Bitcoin, of course.

Who wants to go zipline kayaking?Photo by: Mike MozartA Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Willie story September 16, 2017 “So we’re in Dick’s Sporting Goods, all the way up in the steel scaffolding in the ceiling. You know how it’s all open up … Continue reading

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Cinderella’s memories of the zoo.

A Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Willie story October 22, 1996 Cinderella was in a snit, and who could blame her? She was an orphan swarmed by a family of strangers, accidental intimates, pushy and intrusive and unwelcome. And the most distant stranger … Continue reading

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Discovering #MyKindOfBenedy: Who do you have to kill to find a good villain around here?

Everyone knows how to motivate a villain. You have him rub his hands together with an evil relish and snarl, “Nyar har har har!”Kaptain Kobold / Foter / Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic (CC BY-NC-SA 2.0) I wrote this on … Continue reading

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What would Mohammed do? Just about anything, apparently, provided it’s petty, pathetic and cruel.

“We were watching horse racing by simulcast at the Pimlico Race Course in Baltimore, home of the Preakness Stakes, and everything in the place seemed to be old and dirty and badly maintained. No skin off my nose. You can … Continue reading

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Finding visibility, absolution and closure at the choo-choo train at the mall on New Year’s Eve.

Woo-woo!A Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Willie story December 31, 2015 When I got back with the train, the Lonely Guy was still sitting there on the bench across the way, his elbows on his knees, his palms supporting his chin. I had … Continue reading

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Courtney at the speed of life.

A Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Willie story January 1, 1997 – New Year’s Day “Lord-a-mercy!” I said in my thickest southern drawl. “Somebody tell god to take the rest of the week off. He has made perfection, and there ain’t no topping … Continue reading

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Hacking cancer, chronic pain, Sony and NORAD on Christmas Eve with Reggie and Shake.

“Attention Sony Pictures: All your testicles are belong to us!”A Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Willie story December 24, 2014 “Have a Merry Christmas, brother,” Reggie said to the bent old man shuffling away from us in the grim little strip mall parking lot. … Continue reading

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