Category Archives: Poetry and fiction

Blow Hard: How The Meshugonoph Grabbed Festivus.

Blow, Meshuga. Blow.A Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Willie story Sunday, December 24, 2017 Every Gnome down in Notown craved Marxist hypnosis, but the Meshugonoph – from Doughtown – cried “Misdiagnosis!” He didn’t know better – but he knew better than them, for … Continue reading

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Ladybug’s Christmas dismissal: “The best argument against women in the workplace? Women in the workplace.”

“Ladybug, ladybug, fly away home. Your ovaries are blazing and your biscuits are burned.”Photo by: Gabriel GonzálezA Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Willie story Tuesday, December 19, 2017 “Classy broad. A real lady.” Ladybug said that, nodding toward the television over the bar. No … Continue reading

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A dumpster diver’s Christmas.

A Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Willie story Sunday, December 24, 1995 – Christmas Eve I can be counted upon to walk, after all. When everybody’s nowhere and even the laundromats are empty. When the respectable stores are closed and the line at … Continue reading

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Fifty Shades of Bubba: Christmas at The Sex Addiction Clinic of Misfit Celebrities.

Bill Clinton looked at Garrison Keillor. “What are you doing here, farmboy? The last time you had a dirty thought, you wrote a book about it. Matt Lauer’s trying to get back at the jocks in his high school – … Continue reading

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How I got thrown out of Walmart at Christmas for unauthorized salesmanship.

“My name is Loco Willie and I am loco for frisky dogs, precocious children, classy broads and cheap, red guitars.”A Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Willie story Friday, December 1, 2017 “Don’t you know any other songs?” The kid we’re going to call Stingray … Continue reading

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If you are in despair at the end of #NaNoWriMo, consider writing my way.

“Yeah, but what does the divan look like?”Illustration by: Lewis MinorWe are nearing the end of yet another “National Novel Writing Month,” which suggests to me that a few people will have accomplished something and a lot of people will … Continue reading

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Can you please tell the Koch Brothers why I’m right about messaging strategy?

First we take Bel Air. Then we take Beijing.Photo by: Vinnie CTalk about a valley of the shadow of death: How’d you like to be publicly known as an advocate of individualism, political liberty and free markets in Hollywood? Now … Continue reading

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For Thanksgiving, an elegy of hope: “Loving is a gerundive, Dusty, and her name is Amanda.”

Uncle Willie wrote his very first Thanksgiving story this year, but it’s much too long to be a blog post. Here’s an extract: From Dusty: An elegy of hope and love. “What now?”A Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Willie story Thursday, November 23, … Continue reading

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Deconstructing Madelyn Nguyen: The art we need is the art of of redemption.

The art we need is not violence disguised as valor, not vengeance masked as purity. The art we need is the art of goodness, the art of redemption. Poetry is leadership, but it ought to be leading you someplace you truly … Continue reading

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A match made in the heavens and a love for all the ages: Why Madelyn Nguyen’s always gonna win.

Madelyn Nguyen sat very still for a long time, a finger by her mouth, her eyes aimed nowhere, lost in thought. She said, “It sounds kind of like the neutron stars.” Forty-five months old.A Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Willie story Thursday, October 19, 2017 “Tell … Continue reading

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Driving the conversation: Here’s to better days for The Movie Mogul.

“Here’s to better days! All aboard!”A Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Willie story Saturday, October 14, 2017 “Here’s to better days.” I said that to The Movie Mogul. It seemed like the thing to do. He was shocked, to say the truth. It … Continue reading

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This is Vegas: Working up the courage to take in the most gawk-worthy spectacle on earth.

I bought my wife a gift, that’s what happened. Huge, momentous story, right? This is the Willie world: I don’t go to your church. If you want twelve dead bodies a page, with the bad guys flossing their teeth with … Continue reading

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Who really put the paradise in Las Vegas? Don’t ask…

CityCenter is the perfection of Paradise, and the Aria is the perfection of perfection, everything that any casino hotel resort could be if it were conceived by a genius and built to his exacting demands — price no object.Extracted from … Continue reading

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Liar’s Poker: You can’t win in Vegas – or anywhere – until you know what you’re playing for.

“You want to win. I could be more circumspect, but I’m trying to be respectful of your time. You want the win, and this is how Poker tournaments get decided at the end, by chop. If you insist we go … Continue reading

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RIP #NFL. Meanwhile, on @Netflix: See fathers validating daughters in a #MyKindOfBenedy double-feature.

If Sheldon Cooper and Holden Caulfield ever fought over a girl, Carrie Pilby would be the prize.Q: Why should an NFL team hire Colin Kaepernick? A: Because he hasn’t alienated all the fans yet. Q: Why would NFL players go … Continue reading

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