Author Archives: Greg Swann

#MyKindOfBenedy: Notes on a reconciliation with satire.

Just when you thought nothing could be more enduringly funny than the shopping mall choo-choo train itself…1. As always, comedy is a misleading term, since you can make fun of people either as farce or as satire. 2. That comes … Continue reading

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Discovering #MyKindOfBenedy: Who do you have to kill to find a good villain around here?

Everyone knows how to motivate a villain. You have him rub his hands together with an evil relish and snarl, “Nyar har har har!”Kaptain Kobold / Foter / Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic (CC BY-NC-SA 2.0) I wrote this on … Continue reading

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Five years of Man Alive summarized in four words: Look where you’re going!

Moral philosophy in one algorithm.Church yesterday: Man Alive, my survival manual for the human mind, is five years old – and it is every day a better map to reality:

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Cinema-of-the-mind: Sheesh! A romantic benedy in three acts.

Love conquers all? Surely there are limits…For my friend Brian Brady, a movie that won’t be made, a flavor of satire informed by pathos: Sheesh! A romantic benedy in three acts. Gordon Gecko Goldblum – so named by his parents, … Continue reading

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Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Willie in one lesson: Thugs all the way down…

“No,” said Morczyk. “This will fix him better. Make him stay in the game. But take away his gun.”Photo by: Justin BaederA Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Willie story January 8, 1997 When I walked in, Murcheson from 4-B was holding a gun … Continue reading

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What’s wrong with @realDonaldTrump’s domestic agenda? It’s the #Marxism, stupid!

Donald Trump and the Seven Genocidal Evils of Marxism in 3.5 minutes flat:

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What would Mohammed do? Just about anything, apparently, provided it’s petty, pathetic and cruel.

“We were watching horse racing by simulcast at the Pimlico Race Course in Baltimore, home of the Preakness Stakes, and everything in the place seemed to be old and dirty and badly maintained. No skin off my nose. You can … Continue reading

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Xavier’s destiny: Fatherhood and the manly art of manliness.

But the main job of being a father is simply being around. I’m not congratulating myself for what I did with Xavier, because I knew it was temporary. He didn’t have a father all of a sudden, he just had … Continue reading

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Cultivation is expectation: Sane, middle-class adults cannot be converted, only cultivated.

Why are tactics aimed at converting adults futile? For the same reason that cultivating virtue in toddlers is so propitious: Attitude is everything. Me from Church last week:

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If you want for there to be fewer abortions, show the world how wonderful children make it.

If you expect for kids to know that children are worth raising, first you will have to convince them that a child is something worth being.Photo by: Pedro KlienYesterday on Facebook, I linked to an article called 10 Ways You … Continue reading

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Donald #Trump is Prince Hal, not Henry V. Here’s how you can spot the tells.

Cleaning up this mess? Now that would be women’s work.Once more unto the breach: This weekend’s events demonstrate that newly-anointed President Donald Trump is an Incandescent temperament, not a Driven personality. (Say whuuut? If you’re new, here’s the Cliff’s Notes … Continue reading

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Making a #MyKindOfBenedy-making machine.

Like everything else, the art of romance is upside down. Righting it is simply a matter of demonstrating why well-working real-life romances work so well: Because there is a man in charge.Photo by: Andrew CrumpA while ago I wrote about … Continue reading

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How I justify my long-standing policy of racial profiling.

If we should judge people by the content of their character, the black middle-class is getting screwed.dbking / Foter / CC BY One of the more repellent tropes of race relations, by me, is the deeply earnest white guy who … Continue reading

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Finding visibility, absolution and closure at the choo-choo train at the mall on New Year’s Eve.

Woo-woo!A Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Willie story December 31, 2015 When I got back with the train, the Lonely Guy was still sitting there on the bench across the way, his elbows on his knees, his palms supporting his chin. I had … Continue reading

Posted in Christmas brutality, Poetry and fiction, Traindancing, Willie stories | 3 Comments

How to slay dragons.

A Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Willie story And now I am a man-killer. We live with the consequences of our choices, and we cannot fail to live with all the consequences of all our choices. Sic semper nobis, sic etiam mihi. Thus … Continue reading

Posted in Christmas brutality, Poetry and fiction, Willie stories | 6 Comments