Author Archives: Greg Swann

When I say, “Who wants a handful of red hot Willie for the New Year?” – you say, “#MeToo!”

“Whose Festivus do you have to grab to get some laughs around here?”Cover illustration by the incomparableDonkeyHotey | Creative Commons.New for the New Year: Bubba: How the Predator-in-Chief pulled it off. What is it? Twenty years of brutal jokes – with songs! … Continue reading

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Who’d’a thunk it? The game theory of everything is also good for winning at games.

You can’t win if Gus Hansen already did.Photo by: ND StruplerI was talking to Sindre Paulsen this morning about a Chess tournament he’s been watching. What seems to be happening is this: A Cd player has worked out how to … Continue reading

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Want to be a better, more-perfect version of yourself? Master something difficult this year.

In Latin we can say, “Educere est educare” – to bring up is to bring out – to cultivate your mind is to liberate it, to lead it forevermore away from the slavery of ignorance. No matter what your pedigree, … Continue reading

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A brief history of the four most-intellectually-productive years of my life: 2017.

I had four great years this year, in three disciplines: Character, education and aestethics/fiction. Click the links to learn what you’ve missed. You can study me now or later, with the only difference being the Splendor you will have lost … Continue reading

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It’s the Solstice, when the way to a woman’s Festivus is Guyfood: Chocolate Chip Upside Down Cake.

“Ghirardelli” is an Italian word that means “Now, baby.”By the rhythms of life imposed upon us by Earth’s climate, the Solstice is the time and the season for loving. Short days, and it’s difficult to work outdoors. Long nights, when … Continue reading

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The true story of Christmas? Joseph didn’t dump the baby and ditch Mary.

It’s Christmas because Joseph knew why fatherhood matters, and why you can’t throw it away – even if that seems easy.Photo by: frankieleonA Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Willie story Sunday, December 24, 2017 – Christmas Eve A lot of folks credit the Bible’s … Continue reading

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If you’re looking this Christmas for hope, love, family and redemption – have I got news for you.

Loco Engineering: Goodness breeds more good.“We plant oak trees so there will be tire swings for toddlers we will never meet. We are good for the sake of goodness, but goodness breeds more good. The job of humanity is to … Continue reading

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Cultivating oak trees – for Christmas: “Unbroken things can survive unbroken forever.”

“It’s the same with love at first sight: If you don’t break it, it’s never broken. And if it’s your first love, you’ll never have a broken heart – another impossibility. And the same can go for her, too: The … Continue reading

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‘How The Meshugonoph Grabbed Festivus’ suitable for framing – just like #Trump.

Click on the image or this link to download a PDF file you can print out and tack to the company bulletin board when no one is looking. And pass this along. If you have an employer, I’m no longer … Continue reading

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Blow Hard: How The Meshugonoph Grabbed Festivus.

Blow, Meshuga. Blow.A Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Willie story Sunday, December 24, 2017 Every Gnome down in Notown craved Marxist hypnosis, but the Meshugonoph – from Doughtown – cried “Misdiagnosis!” He didn’t know better – but he knew better than them, for … Continue reading

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Ladybug’s Christmas dismissal: “The best argument against women in the workplace? Women in the workplace.”

“Ladybug, ladybug, fly away home. Your ovaries are blazing and your biscuits are burned.”Photo by: Gabriel GonzálezA Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Willie story Tuesday, December 19, 2017 “Classy broad. A real lady.” Ladybug said that, nodding toward the television over the bar. No … Continue reading

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How can you bury your hopes at Christmas? You can’t. That’s how Dusty found his Phoenix.

Dusty is just enough Willie. For Christmas.Photo by: Sherman Geronimo-TanThe Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Willie stories are fiction. I sometimes get pissed-off emails from people who don’t get that – when Willie is playing with real-world stuff they know about. But every … Continue reading

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What happens when #MeToo meets #BanBossy?

Ci women bosses are even worse as leaders than Ci men bosses, and, accordingly, they scream at their subordinates even more than the manicured man-boys they are alleged to be equal to.What do you suppose Ci women bosses scream about?Photo … Continue reading

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Men: What’s your best defense from yet another catty #MeToo meow? “She hit me first!”

The “Fighting Words” legal doctrine says that, when you persistently taunt a man into punching you, you’re the bad guy. I don’t know that judges will want to talk about tortious fornicative displays, but that’s what’s going on when a … Continue reading

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A dumpster diver’s Christmas.

A Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Willie story Sunday, December 24, 1995 – Christmas Eve I can be counted upon to walk, after all. When everybody’s nowhere and even the laundromats are empty. When the respectable stores are closed and the line at … Continue reading

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